I realize that this is my second post on the subject of crying, but I have noticed lately that I have been crying alot at things I read, watch on TV, or find on the web. I am not depressed by any means, I’m just moved to tears a lot. I’m a crier. I embrace it. So, here are a few examples of things that made me cry that I could find on YouTube:
Tonight I helped my friend Nelson quit his job. He is a server at a chain sea food restaurant and this is something that he has been thinking about doing for years now and would never pull the trigger on it. For moral support, I had him write his two week notice email at my house so I could see that he would follow through with it. Here are some of the drafts:
So, long story short, I have had a gluten allergy for a while now (like years) and have just ignored it. “I eat what I want,” I’d say to my stomach, “and I don’t want to hear a word from you.”– cut to two hours of diarrhea, horrible gas and bloating, and the horrific panic of locating public bathrooms (who’s turned on right now?). Rather than keep this up, I have decided to go gluten-free.
A little back-story on my relationship with food; I love things breaded and fried… and pizza. I eat like an 8 year old fat kid. I also love breads, rolls, donuts, croissants, etc. I like to order pizza and cheese stix and hamburgers on a fresh white-bread bun. So thinking of going gluten free is like thinking about an old woman getting punched in the face.
I live on a busy street. There is no getting around this fact. The constant sound of cars passing 24 hours a day is something that you tell yourself you can live with when apartment hunting; You think to yourself, “a one-bedroom for under $800 a month in an OK neighborhood? Where do I sign?” The truth is that I have learned to live with it; I’ve actually grown to like it. The white noise provides a comfort; almost a false sense of security that puts my mind at ease when those creepy images pop into my head. Maybe it is a news story of a family getting murdered in a random apartment a particularly intense episode of Law & Order: SVU, or a home security system commercial where an abusive ex-boyfriend busts in a door, whatever it is, it makes me feel vulnerable; a lone defenseless man waiting in his apartment, just ripe for a home invasion. But then, I hear the cars and I think, “No one will rob me with all these cars going by, that’s just crazy.” Read the rest of this entry »
I wrote this story in 2004, but in honor of MLK Day, I thought I would re-post it.
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So, I’m sitting on my couch, laptop in my lap. I have a tall glass of instant iced tea to my left and on the TV, Pimp My Ride. It’s a Saturday afternoon. As I look back on my life, I wonder if this is what I thought it would be when I was 5. I wonder if that little boy sitting on the blue carpet at River City Preschool would ever think about sitting in an apartment in Chicago, with a Master’s Degree and a bitchy cat. I wonder if he would even imagine that one day he would be writing stories and thoughts that could be read by someone in France seconds after he was done writing them. It’s crazy to think about really… how fast this world develops; how fast the trends change. One minute Luke Perry is all the rage, the hot teenage dreamboat from 90210; blink an eye and he’s walking naked through a prison in a bit guest appearance on Oz that barely anyone watched. The point is that this nation is as fickle as my grandma looking for a ripe cantaloupe, it’s always looking for something better, riper, the next hot thing. Read the rest of this entry »
Let me preface this tip by saying that I don’t ride the train that often. I have a car and I commute via the painfully slow and laborious streets of the weekday mornings. However, if the weather is going to be bad, as it was in Chicago this past week, I will leave my car in the garage at work, knowing full well the snow-caked streets will be impossible to drive on (not to mention the crazy drivers), and hop on the Merta. Read the rest of this entry »
So here we are, time for a fresh start. My mom said that 2010 is the year of abundance. I don’t know if she just made that up or heard it on the Christian channel that she watches all day long, but whatever, I say good for it. So if this is the year of abundance than I am going to be abundant, damnit. I have already got a good start. I think I gained about 15 pounds over the break just by sitting on my ass and watching TV show marathons. Never in my wildest imagination would I believe that one day American Choppers would be my new favorite show, but after watching 15 hours of it, it wooed me like Joey Lawrence circa 1992.
Every year at this time, I, like many people, make New Year’s resolutions; vowing every year to maintain a gym routine, lose weight, quit sleeping in on Sunday mornings when you know damn well you should be in church. We try to better ourselves, to set goals, to dream of a brighter future… then Sunday rolls around, the weather gets too bad to go to the gym, and there is 2 for the price of 1 Christmas frosting at the store that you just need to eat with your finger… on the couch… watching Steel Magnolias… again… and all your resolutions are shot. But not this year, this year I’m going to stick to them. Read the rest of this entry »
I have always found it interesting how people draw attention to themselves. Some people just wear oddly colored outfits and people dye their hair blue. Some people spend their life in the gym to get a beautiful body and then pierce their nose for good measure. But most people however, don’t do anything radical but simply find interesting things about themselves to bring up when they need attention or want to stand out in a social situation. It could be as simple as stating an opinion on a hot-topic issue, “Call me crazy, but I think that Bozo the Clown should run for office… really, I mean look at all he has to offer: big shoes, red nose, frilly collar. I mean think of how great this country would be if we had a Grand March out of the capital building everyday… maybe a little pie in the face? I mean really… who’s with me on this?” When this fails, most people go for the ailments.
My glasses are magic, but kind of that bad magic that ends up fucking you in the end. I look awesome in them and people put undeserved fashion authority on me. I soak it up like any person trying to cling to their youth. But over the years, the glasses have taken hold of me like (to dork out on you) the Ring of Power. For example, I can’t hear without my glasses. I have to have them on to understand what’s being said to me. While they make me look cool and with it, they have started a feud with my contact lenses. I used to wear contacts all the time, but now I can wear them for about 4 hours without my glasses calling to me from their folded state on the bathroom sink, “Put me on, I’m so much more comfortable, your eyes won’t dry out and itch with me, I’m better for you. You look fat without me on.” As if resigning outright, my contacts will then lose all moisture and I will get a sharp headache and have to take them off. Read the rest of this entry »
Jay and I played the game of LIFE. You all know the classic game of taking your plastic car, your tiny little blue or pink peg and spinning the wheel and setting off to become a success. Truth be told, we had a good time playing it, I won all 5 times we played. (Bless his heart, Jay hates losing so much that we normally have to play until he wins, he gave up around 2:00 am) This game is telling in the fact that to win, you have to have the most money. That got me a little sad, as yes, money is ideal and I would certainly like more of it, if for no other reason than to get my damn Kindle, but that is not where all happiness lives. To win this game, I would bypass my real life morals and convictions, often landing on a square saying, “donate $125,000 to an orphanage” and instantly reacting with, “fuck that.” I land on the space, “bail your uncle out of jail pay $2,000.” and I say, “let him rot.” I was in it to win in and all of these hand-out were draining my money. This brought me to the one logical conclusion. Greed makes you an asshole. Take note CEOs… One of the rounds I won with 3 million dollars and 6 kids, I can’t foresee a time in my life where that will be the case, certainly not the 6 kids. I turn 30 this year and I couldn’t help but feel that I am behind in the game of life. On the plus side, I’m happy… and I beat Jay at something 5 times in a row… I rule!